Grace

My grandmother is dying.

Okay, she's really my wife's grandmother, but I feel like she's my grandmother.  My own grandparents were gone before I got a chance to know them, so Grammy Grace has, in many ways, been the only grandparent I've ever really known.  She was the first member of my wife's extended family who made me feel really welcome.  She has truly treated me like one of her own grandchildren, and I literally cannot imagine my own grandparents loving me any more than Grace does.

Just a few months ago, on Memorial Day, we all visited the family plot at the cemetery together.  Grammy was with us and, since she cannot read the names on the headstones, C was telling her whose plot was whose.  When C pointed out Grammy's own plot, Grace actually clapped her hands and said, "I can't wait!"

We've known she's been emotionally ready for a long time--she lost her husband almost 15 years ago, and, with failing eyesight, has become increasingly dependent upon her daughter (my mother-in-law).  She never wanted to be a burden, and I'm sure she missed her husband and siblings.  So her decline over the past two months has been bittersweet.  She is anxious to go, and we want her to be where she's happiest--but we didn't want to say goodbye quite yet.

Now she's in her final days, and goodbye has come.  What saddens me most is that my children won't get to know her, really--won't understand how much she's done for our family.  C points out, though, that it's wonderful that we've been here in Utah this past year, so the children will have some memories of her.  She's right, of course--it was one of the reasons we wanted to be back in Utah, and we have truly enjoyed that blessing since we got here.  Plus, we're an eternal family--so the children will have the chance to really get to know Grammy again some day.

And I feel grateful not to have to wait for "some day."  I feel such joy for having known and having loved this wonderful woman here.  She is truly one of the best people I have ever known.

MOJ